You can agree to differ. There can be peace.

Let’s face it, we are different people. Throughout the course of a relationship you will encounter differences and we must be open to that. The trouble many relationships fall into is that they don’t think they should differ on some things and we naturally become defensive if someone doesn’t agree with us. Unlearn that really bad behavior and learn to have less fights, but healthy debates, that often time leads to appreciating the difference in others and agreeing to disagree.

1. When people get into arguments, they go into the exchange trying to prove a point and wanting to convince the other of their point. First stop there. Don’t convince but voice your stance and why. As a spouse we have to be comfortable with someone not seeing our perception all the time. What’s most important is that they respect you and your viewpoint enough to make adjustments if needed.
2.  Attack the problem not the person. Solve the problem not the person. Another communication technique that has worked for us. If you have to go as simple as writing on a piece of paper the problem. and when speaking with your spouse refer to the problem on the paper. That will drive the words you choose and steer the conversation away from the person feeling attacked and focus more on the problem. A little passive aggressive but it works.
3. Focus and pick your topics. People try to bottle up issues or sweep things under the rug and when they hit their boiling point they unleash a laundry list of problems. First of all that’s not healthy for you and secondly that compounds a situation. Choose your issue, seek a resolution before dropping so much on a person. Stick to 1 or 2 topics at 1 time.
4. Lastly, quit forcing an issue. When a relationship is meant to be and you rely on God he will help you work through matters, period. When their is chemistry, and true love, things just work.  But when you do face differences and you will you have to be okay with not forcing someone to see your way. You have to sometimes agree to disagree on the point and hope to meet a compromise that serves both of your needs.

Some people argue over some petty stuff and many times it is miscommunication. If you are unequally yoked and you disagree on fundamental guiding principles then that is  a different situation. But save yourself the stress and practice disagreeing in a respectful and amicable way.