Monthly Archives: August 2016

5 of the wrong reasons to get married

Posted on by under Love Corner, Uncategorized

First of all I support marriage but we have all heard of reasons people want to get married or worse get married and they end up unhappy or divorced. Much of this can probably go unsaid but some people need to know you shouldn’t get married because

1. You aren’t getting any younger 

Age is irrelevant. Some people think of their age and really get frantic even at the thought of not being married by a certain age. What I’ll say to that is stop planning what God has already covered for you. Trust the process. Believe that God is shaping a spouse perfect for you and your needs. When we allow our minds to start planning then that’s when irrational decisions are made.

2. You have kids together 

I know it’s important to have a family unit and have kids grow up in a two parent household. But it needs to be a healthy family unit or you will” F “those kids up. No one should be in an unhealthy relationship especially kids.

It’s very possible to co-parent. You need emotional health and sanity to raise children and if that means not being in a relationship with their father or mother then co-parent the best way possible. Cut the pettiness and be the best parents you are humanly capable of being.

3. You’ve been dating for many  years

So what! So you’ve dated 10 years and what? It doesn’t take that long to know if he or she is the one. So if you are still sorting out major  problems, I say really re-evaluate your situation and stop wasting your time.The last thing you want is to marry and then divorce. So don’t let the number of years you are dating be a leading factor in why you marry that person.

3. Everyone else is engaged or married 

Again so what. It’s easy getting married. The work comes with staying married. The last reason you want to get married is because of everyone else. When I married I had maybe a handful of peers I knew that were married.  I didn’t have a lot of examples of marriage so I definitely didn’t marry because I saw others doing it.  You want to marry for the right reasons and not because it feels like the thing you should be doing. On Tia Mowry’s podcast she said if you got married thinking marriage is easy you are in for a rude awakening. Now that’s not to scare anyone but it holds some truth. Marriage is beautiful but it takes work. So marry for the right reason and not because of social pressure.

5. Financial reasons 

That’s really a bad reason to marry. We see the stories all the time when someone marries for money and those marriages don’t last. Marriage is glorifying to God and I’m pretty sure marrying someone for money or for what they can do for you financially is not the plan. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11 Now don’t go marrying someone who can’t even take care of them self…

If you or someone you know has the desire to get married but is looking at all the wrong reasons remind them that God has plans for them. Don’t settle and be patient.  It is so easy to get caught into the pressure of either your age, your social media news-feed, or the family members asking you when are you next. But keep the faith  and don’t find yourself getting married for all of the wrong reasons.

XOXO

Risa

Job Offer- Four ways to negotiate your pay

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Did I say four?

It’s really only one way and that’s simply to ask.  The hope is that expectations are discussed with the recruiter and you don’t have to negotiate but this isn’t a perfect world. Here are 4 ways to confidently negotiate your pay and increase the success rate when starting a new job.

1. Do research.  Know the current salary range, years of experience, and even what the competitors are paying for that job.  Your  worth is more valuable than what any company can ever pay you but to successfully negotiate your pay you need to have a benchmark. Helpful resources at the end.

2. Demonstrate your value and experience through your  interviews and your performance on the job. It just never goes well if you are a sub-par candidate for the  job, yet you want the highest pay rate. Did you set yourself apart from the other candidates? Hopefully that’s one of the reasons you are offered the position. Use that to help articulate your worth and why you believe a higher salary is warranted.

3. Find out more about the compensation program. How often do they review salaries. When will your salary be reviewed. Do do have annual merit increases ? Is there a bonus program? Eligibility requirements?… Understand what comes with this offer in addition to base pay.

4.Choose and use words wisely. It’s so important to choose your words wisely. When negotiating salary thank them for the offer, express excitement for the opportunity to join the organization/team then express how you were expecting to be offered the range of $ X. Let them know that you are aware of the market pay for your level of experience in  the position and are well within that range. While  you  are thrilled at the opportunity you were fully prepared to accept the position closer to <insert salary> Recap your qualifications and what value you will bring to the organization. Then close with a solid ask for the starting salary to be considered.  Even if you are interrupted, hitting those points are important.

There are so many different scenarios that I’ve encountered related to negotiating pay . I’ll tell you that this is a way easier discussion if you are speaking with a recruiter or HR representative so don’t get shy. Women especially have a tendency to shy away from the topic and men come right out with it. Women let’s close that wage gap and negotiate for what we know we are qualified to earn.

Also there are scenarios when you shouldn’t be negotiating your pay. Stay tuned for that.

The US Dept of Labor-Occupational Outlook Handbook is always helpful http://www.bls.gov/ooh/

Salary.com is an okay site http://www1.salary.com/Accountant-I-Salaries.html

Payscale is another site that can be resourceful http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Accountant/Salary

A combination of these resources should get you in the ballpark of what the position should earn.

Good luck! and you are welcome!

XOXO

Risa